Tuesday, February 21, 2006

"Who's the Man?"

The Donegal Express tells you right here!

(hat tip to the Curt Jester, who has honored me with a place on his blogroll!)

Warning: Put your beverages down! This is a ROTFLOL experience sure to run your favorite fluid up your noses and all over your crib. You've been warned!

Now, for the glimpse of pure hysteria:
In a surprise move today, Superior General of the Society of Jesus Peter Hans Kolvenbach released a statement decrying the depiction of the shadowy religious movement known as Opus Dei in the forthcoming film adaptation of “The DaVinci Code”.
On behalf of the Society of Jesus, I ask Sony Pictures to prevent giving scandal by linking the character of “Brother Silas” to Opus Dei and to make him a Jesuit, as is only fitting and proper. For years, we of the Society have remained silent while these upstart punks have run around claiming to be the real power behind the Church. That changes today. Those Opus Dei hacks don’t know the first thing about being a global force of terror. Who do they think they are, stealing our PR? We’ve been killing people and toppling governments for nearly five hundred years, son. Ooh, you own a big building in Manhattan. Like that’s supposed to impress us? Come back when you can do something really impressive, like control all the stolen gold and artwork of the Third Reich. Then we’ll talk!
Father Kolvenbach then provided the Express with transcripts from a heretofore undisclosed Jesuit mole who runs the website called The Unhived Mind:
The Jesuits from the 4th Vow are the rulers of this planet and have been since 1846. They were formed by the first Black Pope Loyola properly addressed as The Superior General. He swore allegience to the Pope to help destroy their enemies and regain control of the world under one leadership again, which is Roman Catholic for now. Since 1540 they have been feared because the Jesuit Order is the most powerful society on Earth and this is how its kept control amongst what many call the elite. The Jesuits kill Popes which should easily show you their power. Many in the Vatican detest the Society of Jesus and its ways but quite frankly cannot do anything about it...
Der Tommissar ROCKS!

Go read the whole thing!