In Absentia: an Apology

Sweet, seductive promises
of fleeting pleasure
followed by the cool embrace
of shadow
and nothing

Bowed before the blows
of outrageous bureacrats
and their eternal scheming,
exhaustion,
the slow grind
day after day--
Lemmings in a can
to begin and end--
the phyrric struggle
to enlighten in spite of the system;
I surrendered.

Caught in the dark,
ensnared in illusion,
confronted with the
cacophony of passions,
voices of every desperate
rage and fear,
delight and disappointment,
hope and despair,
I thrashed
alone
in a long, dark sea.

Fearless,
his hand plunges through
the dark
Strong,
he grips me
in spite of my struggle
Merciful,
he pulls my head above water
waits patiently
for me to choose
to come back on board.

Presence or Nothing.
The choice that awaits us all
lay before me.