Being! Or Nothingness on "What Aaron told me last night . . ."

Stephen Sanchez of Being! Or Nothingness chronicles a call he received from one of his "kids" from Texas. Aaron experienced a profound epiphany and needed to share it with someone he trusts. Mr. Sanchez was that someone.

Take a closer look at an incredible encounter:

"I don't want to die"
At some point in the conversation Aaron said "I realize that I only have 80 years tops before I die. It doesn't seem like enough." This really struck me because here is an 18 year old kid for whom death should be the last thing on his mind, and yet, in front of the drama of a chapter in his life that is ending, he immediately moves to the end of it all, death. And he moves there not as some meditation on how great it will be, but with a longing for something infinite and eternal. 100 years on earth isn't enough for Aaron, and it isn't enough for me either!

In a moment of complete honesty he said "I don't want to die. I feel like a 2nd grade kid in religion class in front of the question of death, with questions like 'will my friends be there?', 'will I be happy?', 'will their be as much to enjoy there as there is in life?'"

A Passion for Life
What response is appropriate in front of such a clearly expressed human need? I want to live! I want life that is forever! I want to be with the things that I love forever! The only thing I can say is "Me too! Me too!"

And then I said, "Aaron this is possible. This is not some empty desire, this desire has a fulfillment. There is one who has claimed that all these things you want are true and possible. There is only one place that I know that says that this kind of life is possible forever."

And we spoke about friendship. Our friendship, the friendship with his classmates, and the friendship that began in the upper room of the Cornerstone building in Brenham, TX. There in that upper room, with his friends, we talked about the Mystery that became a man. We talked about the irreducible presence that lived among us, between us. We talked about the fact that Love is a presence, not a feeling, but something, or rather someone who is tangilble.

Aaron said much more, but I was struck at how simple and honest he was. And I challenged him again to stay with his friends, to go to School of Community, to stay in front of these desires. He said "I feel like meeting with Johnathan and saying, 'Ok, even if its just us, we will talk about these things and we'll read this book, and even if we don't undertand anything and don't get an answer, we will take each other's desire seriously."

The Shadow of Death
And then fear, as Don Gius talks about, crept in . . . "but I'm so unfaithful, I know these things and I can't do it, I always find something else to distract me. I wish you were here because you made me do these things."

And again I reminded Aaron of what Don Gius teaches us, that this fact of our own fragility is not an objection. It's the reason that we need to depend on Another. And so, we have to beg. To pray for a help to stay in front of our desire. To ask for help to because on our own we can't do it.

Thanks be to God, for he has raised up among us shepherds that shelter our children from the harsh nihilism of the world. Mr. Sanchez brought Aaron face-to-face with Christ at just the moment the young man needed his savior. When we stare into the abyss of our own death, the abyss stares back. We suddenly face the limited time we have upon this earth, and we shudder. We don't want it to end. We don't want to die.

Thanks to Christ, our death becomes the passage to life eternal in communion with our savior, our Father and the saints. Everything we fear we'll lose to Thanatos, our God will more than reccompense us. He is Love, a presence among us that we experience when we live in him. We do not need to fear death as long as we live in Christ.

Mr. Sanchez delivered that message to a hopeful, yet troubled, young man. We can all take comfort in his counsel.