Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Mouth-Foaming Foolables Slobber SAM!

Where do they come from? Why do they insist on splattering every corner of cyberspace they can reach?

Mark Shea rises to SAM's defense when this Blogosphere Voltaire spews all over his carpet.

Here's our brilliant satirist in all his eloquent glory (warning: language alert!):
Two exceptional examples from the latter category written by this piece of shit impel me to break my silence.

Dale Price, one of the good guys of the Catholic blogosphere, and who I consider to be one of my blogfathers, recommended a post by the p.o.s. blogger (a.k.a., SecretAgentMan--no kidding) that left Dale with the impression that said blogger had expressed "clear-eyed gratitude for America and being American." If you want, follow the link from Dale's post and let me know if you think it expresses gratitude. In the meantime, I made the mistake of going to his main page and browsing the rest of his November output. And that was when I stepped in read the two posts that are the subject of this one.

As an active duty military man, I can't find the words to express how moved I was by his Veteran's Day post. Check out this gem:
I saw that the Curt Jester put up a hymn for Veterans' Day. I appreciated that sentiment and his apt choice. Inasmuch, however, as Veterans Day has been employed in my neck of the woods as an occasion to drape red-white-and-blue bunting around the Bush administration's decision to invade Iraq and some of its more dishonorable attempts to fight (the other guy's) terrorism, here's my selection:

Well, bless me! And here I thought that ALL of our country's wars had "red-white-and-blue bunting draped around them." Because, you know, they're led by the President. Commander-in-Chief, and all that sort of thing. And did you get the part about "the other guy's terrorism"? As in, "theirs" instead of "ours"? Hold that thought, because I'll be coming back to it in a bit.
What brilliant oratory! What esquisite use of rhetoric to fairly criticize a man's errant view while not violating his person. This "Italian Catholic" really demonstrates the heart of Christian Charity hear. I'm all goosy from the love I'm feeling! And all this because SAM dares to take John Paul the Great's considerable wisdom on just war seriously. How dare he place his Catholicism before his nationalism! I'm surprised Someguy didn't just tar him as a hopeless papist and be done with him, like his "good friend" did!

And, to our radiant Voltair, SAM is obviously an irredeemable anti-semite. After all, he has the audacity to observe that fallen man may act fallen when others force an agenda upon them that's not to their liking. O the humanity! Behold:
As for the terrorism that isn't "(the other guy's) terrorism," I can only guess what that might mean. And my guess is based on another post by S.A.M. that points a long, bony finger at you-know-who:
Jews have not "always fared badly" in systems where religion is allied with the government. The Lutheran Church, it's interesting to note, is the official, state-supported religion of Sweden and Denmark.(emphasis his)
The context is a post on the ADL's recently published paranoid delusions about American Christians trying to turn the good ol' U.S.A. into a theocracy. He supports his statement with the example of the State Church of Denmark helping Jews escape to neutral Sweden during WWII. That the citation he quotes to support his example begins, "Denmark was the only occupied country that actively resisted the Nazi regime's attempts to deport its Jewish citizens" makes me think that this is one of those exception-that-proves-the-rule deals. "Always," except in one case. Really nailed Rabbi Korn on that one.

Ahh...but there's ANOTHER exception!
Israel is another counter-example that comes to mind rather handily -- Israel is a good day's walk from the ultra-secular model of Church-State separation being touted by Mr. Foxman as the be-all and end-all of human civilization. It would be interesting -- and perhaps will be interesting -- to see the secularist ideals promoted by the ADL's campaign met by some pithy comparisons between Evangelical political influence in America and Jewish religious influence in Israeli politics, or between the supposedly-malign project of "Christianizing" America and the supposedly-benign project of "Zionizing" Palestine.
What would really be interesting would be to see this ignorant doofus wake up and realize that an actual theocracy can only be founded by the "Theos." And only one county in the history of the entire world can lay claim to that sort of founding. Guess which one? So how does S.A.M. propose to ally the fears of the ADL and their fellow-travelers?
There have been times when Jewish attempts to build a liveable society through secularism goaded Christians into demonizing them as a culture-destroying race bent on undermining wholesome values. Let's not invite that old, vile rhetoric to emerge -- on either side -- again.
By threatening them with a pogrom! Way to go, S.A.M.! You showed that old fox, Foxman, that he can't provoke any heated rhetoric out of you!
Yet again, I'm flushed. What a precise and insightful analysis of an obvious Jew-haters screed. Brilliant!

Maybe if Someguy would quit drowning in Kool-Aid and stop putting Mussolini to his left, he might see what an idiot he's made of himself. SAM notes the contrast between the ADL's curious promotion of secularism in America and Jewish politicians' religiosity in Israel. Someguy babbles some incoherence about only God can found a theocracy.

Yeah, tell that to the Iranians, the Swiss calvinists and the Puritans of Plymouth, for that matter.

SAM then observes that Christian Traditionalists may resent Jewish Secularists' efforts to force secularism down their throat--and may regrettably behave in ways history has witnessed before. Someguy immediately convicts SAM of threatening the ADL with a "pogrom." He either demonstrates a complete inability to comprehend English or a total willingness to craft a legion of straw men. I'm still trying to figure out which one it is.

My old neighborhood had a great word for a paragon of virtue like Someguy: Disgratzia!

Mark Shea had this to say in SAM's defense:
One of the best and wisest people in the blogosphere, Secret Agent Man, gets screamed at by an orc for failing to pass the orc's test of 100% uncritical mindless endorsement of everything American. It's not enough that SAM love his country. He must love his country's sins too. And he must agree that the war in Iraq was just or he hates America and freedom and goodness. Then, for good measure, SAM gets hysterically tarred as an anti-semite for not bowing and scraping to the latest manufactured panic of the ADL.

But then, all you really have to do is read the words "my good friend Joseph D'Hippolito" and you know that the orc is not going to be a paragon of grace or sober rhetoric.
And this:

I don't get the insistence that everybody has to respond to you on your blog. You felt quite free to call a good man a piece of shit on your blog and not write in his comment box (or indeed contact him in any way before maligning him). Why is everybody obliged to jump in the snake pit with you and Joe and your various toadies? You're quite free to make a spectacle of yourself sliming a man whose sandals you are not worthy to untie. But I don't see why that obliged anybody else to contribute to your blog.
When Foolables foam the carpet, they truly make a putrid mess of themselves and everyone they reach. It's sad that such mouth-foamers trade their discipleship for the toxins of extreme partisanship. To paraphrase St. Thomas More in A Man for All Seasons: Scripture admonishes us that it profits a man not to inherit the whole world and lose his soul. The whole world, Someguy! But for extreme GOPism?